Obedience as Formation

Part 3: An ignored foundation to a “Rule of Life”

Jun 22, 2025

It was said of Abba John the Dwarf that he withdrew and lived in the desert at Scetis with an old man of Thebes. His abba, taking a piece of dry wood, planted it and said to him, ‘Water it every day with a bottle of water, until it bears fruit.’ Now the water was so far away that he had to leave in the evening and return the following morning. At the end of three years the wood came to life and bore fruit. Then the old man took some of the fruit and carried it to the church saying to the brethren, ‘Take and eat the fruit of obedience.’

The increased interest in having a Rule of Life can only be a good thing for the church. While books on the subject of developing your own Rule make it onto the New York Times Bestseller list I wonder if we need to name a foundational difference between the Rules of Life that form the basis of many of the religious orders of Christianity (eg. the Benedictines, the Franciscans, the Augustinians, etc…) rooted as they are in the lessons of the Desert Fathers, and the current popular level books on the subject.

The contemporary literature on the ordered life sees this largely as an autonomous pursuit. We think for ourselves, guide our own lives, and curate our own experiences. Unsurprisingly, we design our own Rules of Life. This is our personal project. We struggle not to hear of the so-called ordered life as a bespoke self-improvement system.

The Desert Fathers assumed that the first step towards the ordered life, of study, prayer, and meditation, was to find a mentor. But by mentor they didn’t mean coach, or guide, or guru, they meant someone to obey. In stark contrast to contemporary thinking, but at the root of the ancient approach to the ordered life, is the assumption that I do not know what is best for me.

In this context obedience can simply mean “doing what you’re told”, but a Rule of Life is about inner formation, not just simple external strictures. In the book The Secret Seminary, Fr. Brendan Pelphrey notes that there is a deeper level to obedience:

… it has to do with suppressing our own ideas or our own impulses to act in this way or that, in order to replace our own ideas with new knowledge.1

An authentic rule of life involves the submission of our own sense of “being in charge” to make room for a wiser and more experienced formation.

While I deeply appreciate the various programs and books that are bestowing the virtues of a Rule of Life, it is worth pondering how the vows, submissions, and obediences of the Desert Fathers and the religious orders function as a catalyst for formation.

Does a Rule of Life “work” when unshackled from obedience?

I would venture to say no. Not that obedience is the formative feature, rather it places us into a different relationship with a Rule of Life. In learning to obey a Rule or a mentor we are making room to learn how to trust.

What the student is learning is not simply a form of personal obedience, but to trust God, expecting God to work in every circumstance.2

For a rule of life to be successful, it needs to work as a scaffold within which I can grow to be more like Jesus. As such, learning an obedience that leads to trusting God more seems almost essential.

Rather than making our own Rules, I wonder if we need to trust the ancient rules. They are not calling us to submit to a person, not even our favourite author, but to the Christian tradition. Being Christian is to be part of a tradition of faith handed down to us, so it doesn’t seem far fetched to suggest that obeying the ways and orders of teachers who submitted themselves to ordered formation might not be a bad approach for us. That the church is a long stream of handed on apostolic tradition could be a good thing for us.

So then, brothers and sisters,stand firm and hold fast to the traditions that you were taught by us, either by word of mouth or by our letter. - 2 Thessalonians 2:15

I’m going to continue this series of musings on the Ordered life because I do genuinely think that a good Rule of Life is not far off essential for Christian formation. I wanted, however, to name the place of obedience early in the series. Not only do I think there is more to say about obedience, but I think it becomes the key to understanding how the ancients considered the Ordered Life. Ironically, many of the contemporary books become useful again so long as you approach them with an ancient notion of obedience in mind.

Abba Rufus said, ‘He who remains sitting at the feet of his spiritual father receives a greater reward than he who lives alone in the desert.’3

One final comment for now on obedience and the ordered life. The “ordered life” does not translate into the “winning” life when judged by contemporary metrics. At its heart, as they say in The Secret Seminary, the Ordered Life is the life of a spiritual pilgrim.4 The pilgrim has made space in their life, in obedience, in order to learn more. The pilgrim doesn’t “know it all”. This is a good thing. Freed from the need for pseudo-confidence, unlike many experiences of Christianity, the obedience that leads to trust allows the pilgrim to seek Christ in the midst of doubts and uncertainty. Because this person sees themselves as submitted to something bigger than themselves, their own self-assurance isn’t as decisive as it might be in a self-improvement plan.

The ordered life invites us to obey, and in doing so seek Christ, the one who was obedient (Philippians 2:5-11) and, as scripture tells us, will not ask us how successful we were, but whether we were obedient (cf. John 14-15).

This is what the LORD says: “Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls. But you said, ‘We will not walk in it.’” - Jeremiah 6:16